If you thought learning your ABCs as a kid was tough then try learning all of these godforsaken shapes! Welcome to Tetradecagon, a game that is undoubtedly the bastard love child of Pong and Wii Tennis on steroids! Sit back, relax, and watch as I demonstrate my will through the use of what looks to be a tiny white Tic Tac!

One man. One destiny. One ungodly amount of death the likes of which would make the Grim Reaper himself catch an affection erection. Today I enter the octagon and demonstrate the power of patience as I spend the next 14 minutes reminding myself that my fist does not belong on the other side of this monitor. Welcome back to hell!